The loudest sound
by noodlearmy
Summary: He was always too vulnerable. Much too vulnerable for his comfort.


_Leckie,_

_It's been awhile, but I thought I'd send a note your way. What's it been? Two years? I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing pretty fine. How's your life been treating you? Got that broad Vera yet? I hope you told her how handsome I am. _

_Hope to hear from you soon,_

_Lew_

_Jeurgens,_

_You're someone I wasn't expecting to hear from. Those two years have gone by rather quickly, maybe it's something to do with this sense of freedom that we have now. Out of harm's way, safely tucked away in some corner of the world in a little warm house. My life's been treating me fairly (better than it has before, obviously). I did manage to woo Vera with my charms, however it never really turned into anything substantial. People who haven't been through hell and back like us will probably never truly understand the way we think. _

_Bob_

_Leckie,_

_Too bad about Vera. I guess I get what you're saying. I dated a few gals once I got back home. Same story, nothing really happened with any of them. So are you still living up there with your folks? You should come down here to Los Angelos and visit me sometime. I managed to scrape up enough money to get an apartment. _

_Hope to see you soon,_

_Lew_

Lew's life was a simple one. He liked it that way, and was content for the first time since coming back from the Pacific. He had managed to get a job as a clerk at a general store; not the most exciting career, and most definitely menial, but once again he was content with such a simple life. However, he was not content with the fact that everyone around him was so oblivious and naive to...to what he had been through. What they all had been through. If Lew could wish for anything in the world, he would wish that people would have the knowledge that he had; the experience that he had. If they only had his thoughts fused with theirs, everyone would be so much easier to talk to. Everything would just be so much...easier.

_The Japs were coming. They were coming from all sides, and worst of all, his gun was jammed. He had nothing. _  
_He could just barely see the shine of their helmets coming out of the jungle, right towards him. _  
_His gun is still jammed._  
_The Japs are still coming. _  
_They are here._

"Fuck!" Lew yelled loud enough that the neighbors might even hear. He sat up from his small couch, soaked with sweat that now chilled him. "Jesus..." he sighed as he put his hands over his face, wiping the sweat from his brow. He always had these visions, these nightmares. Always the same situation, although it would vary slightly. He was vulnerable, and had nothing; nothing to protect him, no one to protect him. He was alone.

He eventually gathered himself together and sauntered to his small bathroom to change his sweat stained shirt that he had fallen asleep in. He peeled it off and threw it to the side, and then just leaned against the sink and stared at himself. His body, his face, his eyes, his weary eyes, now a dull blue color. The color of the ocean, the ocean that he had grown sick of in his time abroad. It was an ocean that could give life, or take it away, just as simply as it ebbs and flows.

Knock knock knock. Three quick raps on his apartment door shook Lew out of his daydreamy state. "Coming!" He quickly grabbed a white undershirt and threw it on as he walked to the door. Opening the old piece of wood, he peered out.

Several moments of silence went by.

"Well, are you gonna let me in?" A familiar voice asked.

Lew's straight line of a mouth curved into a large smile as he grabbed his old friend and hugged him.

"Christ Leckie, what are you doing here?"

"Responding to your letter."

Lew just stood dumbfounded for a second, before Leckie walked past into his apartment, setting his bag off to the side.

"Dinky little place you got here."

"Yeah, it's...um...nice. I like it here. So how did you find me?"

"Well, Lew, there's this thing called a return address-"

"Oh yeah. Right."

Lew awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes shifting between Leckie and the floor.

"So, um, I guess you get to sleep on the couch, huh?" Lew half-laughed, gesturing towards the piece of furniture.

"Beats the ground any day."

"Ha, yeah I know what you're talking about."

They stood their in silence for awhile, probably just a few seconds, but it felt like an hour to Lew, who was not expecting any of this, and had no idea what to do when something like this happens.

Leckie finally broke their quiet state, "So I've heard a lot about this big city of yours. Never been here before now though. Maybe you could show me around...it's only, what, 5:30? We should go grab a bite to eat. My treat."

"Well, I guess I have no choice. Let me go get dressed."

The Los Angelos nightlife beat anywhere Leckie had been before. There were so many different, eclectic people walking around the streets, more of which came out with the setting of the sun. It was not a warm night, but it wasn't necessarily cold either. It was perfect for their little outing.  
They ended up at a small place that served seafood. It was a nice place, and they chose to eat outside in a small, lit up patio.

Their waitress was a looker, but Lew didn't even try flirting with her because, one, he didn't really have that talent, and two, he knew that it wouldn't go anywhere, so what was the point?

"So this seems like a pretty nifty place. You been here before?" Leckie asked.  
"Yeah, I've taken a few dates here."

"Is this our date?" Leckie joked.

"Naw. Your the one whose paying."

Their food came and they ate in silence, a few comments made here and there about what it was like back home for Leckie, or how Lew liked the Los Angelos life and his little job.

They finally finished, Leckie paying as promised. They walked home in the dark, although it was hardly so with all the flashing lights of cars and buildings. The smell of exhaust and other harsh fumes penetrated Leckie's unaccustomed nose.

"I like it here, but you gotta admit it stinks." Leckie commented as they walked along.

"Yeah, I guess I just got used to it in the year or so I've been here."

I guess I've gotten used to a lot of things.

After a short walk, they finally arrived at the small apartment. It was about 9:30; they hadn't realized they'd been gone so long, but then again, the walk took awhile, and they did stop a few places besides the restaurant.

"Do you mind if I shower?" Leckie asked after stepping through the door.

"Go ahead. No need to even ask, just make yourself at home. I think I'm just gonna go to bed. It's been a long day."

"Alright. See you in the morning."

The water was cold, and would only get a few degrees about that when it was all the way to hot. Even so, it was relaxing for Leckie, who hadn't showered in awhile due to the train ride to California.

Towel around his waist, he got out of the shower and began to dry off. He stopped when he heard noises coming from Lew's room. Short, scared sounding noises. Almost like a dog when it's dreaming.

Towel still around his waist, Leckie proceeded into Lew's bedroom to assess the cause of the noises.

The room was dark, only the reflection of the city lights coming through the window, outlining Lew's face; it was contorted into a terrible expression of fear and concern.  
The whimpering noises continued, and now Leckie realized that they were coming from Lew. He was dreaming. Probably more of a nightmare by the way things looked.

"Hey, Lew."

No reply, but the whimpering stopped.

"Lew...Lew!"

Still no reply, so Leckie walked over and nudged Lew's shoulder gently.

"Hey, buddy, wake up."

_It was dark. So dark..._  
_He was alone again. No weapon, no foxhole, nothing. _  
_He was vulnerable, and he knew it. The fact of knowing _  
_that you can be hurt just makes it worse. _  
_And he knew it. He knew it all too well. _  
_The Japs were coming for the hundredth time, helmets and_  
_bayonets glinting in the faint light. _  
_Bam._

"Shit!" Lew bolted upright in bed, a cold sweat covering his shirtless chest and shoulders. He felt queasy and lightheaded.

"Hey, you ok buddy?"

Lew's half cracked eyes flew open as he realized he wasn't alone.

"Oh sweet Jesus, Leckie. You scared the piss outta me."

"You were having a nightmare. I thought I should wake you up."

Leckie sat down on the side of the bed, just staring at Lew. They were silent for a minute, before the latter broke the silence.

"Don't worry about it. It happens almost every time I go to sleep. It's always me, the Japs, and nothing in between. I feel so...alone in the nightmares. It's like I know something is going to happen, but I don't know what and it's just so horrible and-"

"Hey, it's okay. You're not alone."

Leckie said as he put his hand on Lew's leg as a gesture of reassurance.

Lew sighed deeply, patting Leckie's hand.

"Thanks bud."

They sat there again in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence though. It was the kind of silence that one is comfortable with. A kind of bonding silence. And even through this kind of silence, one still knows that they are among others. That they are not alone.

"I want to try something." Leckie whispered as he leaned closer.

He pressed his lips delicately against Lew's.

To Leckie's surprise, Lew responded well to the kiss by pressing back against him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

This chaste kiss continued for a few more seconds before Leckie pulled away.

"Don't stop." Lew breathed, "I need this. I've needed this for so long."

Leckie looked slightly bewildered.

"Needed what?"

"This connection with someone. Someone like you."

With those words, Lew leaned in again, this time pressing harder against Leckie's mouth. Leckie entangled his hands in Lew's hair, gradually leaning over and onto him, pressing the latter down into the creaking bed.

The kiss eventually turned from chaste to much deeper and more passionate. Tongues tangled and fought together, and hands roamed over bodies. Hands roamed over certain parts of those bodies, eliciting moans from both parties.

Leckie let the towel fall from his waist, and then began to work on Lew's pants.

Once they were completely exposed to one another, Leckie took two of his fingers, and put them up to Lew's soft, kiss-abused lips, and he took them into his mouth, sucking on them delicately.

After Leckie's fingers were thoroughly coated with the other's saliva, he brought them down to Lew's entrance. At the same time as he inserted one, he kissed Lew with such ferocity that Lew barely noticed the intrusion. Still passionately kissing him, Leckie eventually inserted the other finger, twisting them and making Lew moan and whimper into his kisses.

Eventually Leckie pulled away from Lew's mouth and took his fingers out, making Lew grunt in protest. Leckie crawled on top Lew, and guided Lew's legs up around his waist.

"Do you trust me?"

There was hesitation, and then a whispered, "Yes."

With that, Leckie slowly pushed himself inside of Lew, making the latter screw his eyes shut and hiss in slight pain.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Lew grunted as he gnashed his teeth.

"Hey, you're fine. I've got you." Leckie reassured him, placing delicate kissed along the shell of his ear.

After a few seconds of not moving, Lew finally adjusted to the intrusion that was Leckie's manhood.

"Move. Please." Lew breathed out.

Without another word, Leckie began to rock back and forth into Lew, both moaning and making lewd noises and movements.

"Fuck yes!" Lew said between moans, Leckie saying equally obscene things.

"God, Lew, I'm gonna-" Leckie was cut off by a tremor, his body shuddering as he came.

Without even being touched, Lew came shortly after.

Leckie noticed this, and was rather proud of himself.

Completely spent, they just lay there for several minutes, draped across one another.

"Hey buddy, you're kinda heavy..." Lew hesitated to say as he pushed at Leckie.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." Leckie moved off and next to Lew, his arm still wrapped around his torso.

After just looking at each other for awhile, Lew leaned in and gave Leckie a chaste kiss on the lips.

Nothing more was said, and the silence was perfect; the silence said everything.

It said everything that Lew needed to hear.

For once, he didn't feel vulnerable.

For once, he felt absolutely perfect.


End file.
